THINGS THAT I REMEMBER ABOUT THE LIVES OF FATHER AND MOTHER BUNKER
BY FERREN BUNKER
My parents, Hector Bunker and Willamina Wittwer Bunker, have left me, but not me alone, with sweet memories and a great heritage which was founded in the gospel of Jesus Christ. I am sure my brothers and sisters would join me in saying that we were blessed with a wonderful birthright. I can say as Nephi of old said, “Having been born of goodly parents, therefore I was taught somewhat in all the learning of my father.” He was a great teacher. Mother was a great teacher. Indeed they were a great team each pulling his and her pert of the load. Now the load that seemed to have priority in their lives was to raise a family of eight children. They wanted their children to have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and to walk in the path of truth and righteousness. They wanted them to develop with ideals and attitudes which would reflect strenght in character. They wanted each to become independently strong in a testimony of the truth of the gospel, in becoming a good citzen of the community and country, in meeting the challenges of work and industry, in seeking out worthy companions and raising good families and in giving devotion unto the Lord in service and sacrifice.
I often heard father say that he would probably never ac¬cumulate much in worldly wealth so his wealth would have to come in having a good family. It is my testiment that my parents left few stones unturned in being good parents. Their children were their joy and their blessing so I would like to pass on to their posterity these fond memories and reflections of my life with them.
Their children always had parents in whom they could confide and they knew that every effort was being made to care for their needs. They were blessed with the opportunity to work side by side with them on the farm and in the home. Each of the Children knew what it was to have work to do and the responsibility for doing it. I was greatful to be numbered as one among their children, not alone for the love of wonderful parents but also the love and friendship that existed among the children. We grew up with a minimum of confusion and discord.
We were taught that the sabbath was the Lord’s day and every effort was made for us to worship together. We knew that our father and mother had faith and relied upon the Lord, They prayed and taught us to pray. It was a part of their plan that each of us would have our individual prayer at night before going to bed and that the family would kneel together around our oval table in prayer before breakfast in the morinings and again before supper in the evenings. There was always a blessing of the food at each meal. Each member of the family was expected to take his or her turn. To hear father pray was to hear a man talk to God. He presided with mother fully sustaining him as the leader and authority in the home. When father was gone mother or the oldest child at home was expected to conduct the family’s activities.
They wanted us to know the importance of paying tithing. I was impressed that payment of a full tithing was our parents first economic consideration. Moat of their children will recall going to tithing settlement as a family. I recall a time when I was quite young that they took us all with them to the old relief society building. Father indicated a tithe for each of us and if I remember right he indicated an income of $2, 500. The bishop knew our circumstances and expressed the thought that possibly father was over paying. Money was scarce and we were living on what the farm produced so father and mother calculated their tithes and offering according to what it cost to feed and care for the family. Father said the Lord had been good to us and he did’t wont to cheat the Lord. Father and mother were always very free with their contributations to the Church. I have always been thankful for the impressions that that tithing settlement had on me and for their example.
They were equally free and very generous in helping neighbors, friends and those in need. When we killed an animal for meat, much of it would be delivered to those in the community who they knew would need some. They helped others on their farms and in their homes and would send us children to help when it seemed appropriate. What they did was done in a spirit of love and helpfulness. Labor on the farms was often exchanged.
Our Family Home Evenings were those memorable times when we would sit around the fireplace and eat parched corn and raising, play Rooke, go for a picnic into the hills or mountains, or in the fields and converse with each other on what was going on in school, at church, in the community, and listen to mother end father tell of the older days. It was common for us to hear father toll of his experiences in carrying the mail, working for and with his brothers, caring for his ailing mother, working on grandfather Wittwer’s farm and courting mother. He didn’t have an opportunity to go to school beyound the eighth grade. He said he could out run most of the boys in a long race. We enjoyed hearing father tell of dreams and spiritual experiences which carried much meaning to him and for his family. He said that when he had a dream which carried a special message, it would stay very vivid in his mind and sooner or later the interpretation would be given him. I really didn’t think much about his dreams as being too important until I learned more about gifts of the Spirit and I had a personal experience which revealed and verified the truth of his dream. Father came to spend two weeks with Violet and I in Lovelock, Nevada. We were looking forward to having our first child. Father had been sleeping on the cot during the early afternoon and I was working in our back-yard garden. Father came out to join me and said, “Ferren, I had a dream which carries a message for you and Violet. I can’t tell you the meaning of the dream now, but I know it is for you and when the interpretation comes to me, I will tell you about it.” It was later the same day he told me the dream and the interpretation. In the dream he had broken his glasses and was experiencing considerable difficulty in having them repaired. He went to a number of optomitrists before he could find one who could repair his glasses. He said the inter¬pretation of his dream related to Violet’s pregnancy. He said that Violet would require special attention and that we should take her to a specialist for bother her’s and the baby’s safety. When I think of what he told me and what happened, I found that what he told me was literally fulfilled even though we were not conscious that it was being fulfilled while it was happening. Violet developed a toxic condition and we were forced to look for further medical help. We called on doctors in Sparks and Reno and were finally refered to Doctor Lombardi who was able to provide the attention she required. He put her in the St. Mary’s Hospital and treated her for ten days before he determined that it was impossibe to stop the toxic condition. He said that He must deliver the baby by cesarian section to safe guard both Violet’s and the baby’s lives. The operation was a success and Janet was born 6 weeks premature. We had exper¬ienced a literal fulfillment of father’s dream. It has certainly been a testimony to me that father did have a gift of dreams which was rare among the Lord’s children.
In answer to prayer father received direct answers. He experienced a visit from his mother regarding his brother’s (John) daughter, Margret. He heard, as it were, a voice speaking and directing him in what he was to do when his daughter, Wanda, had a bad growth on her head. He was prompted to go to others in the family when there was a special need and the family would wonder how he knew of their need.
Father was a family man. The happiness and welfare of mother and us children were always paramount. His interests also extended into the lives of his brothers and sisters and their children. Though he was the youngest in their family, he pursued their problems with great concern and interest. He enjoyed gifts and powers of revelation that gave him a very strong conviction or knowledge of what he must do and he was persistant in doing it. He would often show up on the scene without solicitation because he knew we needed help or it was important to carry a message. I do not propose to recount the many revelations which he received in behalf of his family, but I do want to con¬vey a lasting impression which I recieved in this connection and that is that father did receive promptings and light through the Holy Spirit for the benefit of his family. I do desire to relate one instance however which reveals the importance of accepting the will of the Lord. Father was given a fore¬knowledge that mother was to be taken from him in death while Kent and Owen were yet quite young. This was naturally very disturbing to father. It cast a cloud of gloom and bitterness over him and he felt sure the Lord was making a mistake. Mother was taken in illness and father would not submit to the will of the Lord and finally told the Lord that if He must take one now to take him but leave mother because he didn’t feel capable in raising his family. Well, after this commitment mother regained her health and father was taken in sickness quite suddenly. It was during this sickness that he had dreams in which he viewed his statis as he went into the spirit world. His reception was not as he would have liked and expected and caused him to plead with the Lord for another 20 years to fulfill his obligations with his family here and prepare for his day of returning to the Lord. He left me with this message from this experience that we are not to try to counsel the Lord,” but take, counsel from His hand.” I am sure his message to us to day would be that we must learn of the Lord, what He wants us to do and submit ourselves to His will.
Father depended upon mother and gave her strong support in the rearing of their children. Mother was the one we went to for help with our school lessons, Church talks, and family problems. She was kind and gentle. Seldom, if ever did she raise her voice or indicate anger. She was a good homemaker. She took pride in a white washing hanging on the line, yards swept clean, the house clean and orderly. She had but, a few years’ in which she could enjoy the benefits of electricity and the comforts and conveniences which it brought. Most of her life was without running water in the house and a car for transportation. She knew how to stretch a dollar in her sewing, buying and cooking.
The first home I can remember was the one we had near Carp, Nevada, a railroad station in the Meadow Valley Wash. Father acquired some undeveloped government land under the Home Stead Act end worked hard to develop it as a base for his cattle operation. It was a long and tedious job to build a canal that would convert water to this dry desert land. Our house at this ranch was a cabin built with railroad ties and a large tent with a center pole. It was a very humble dwelling place, but mother kept it clean and orderly. Oh how difficult those years must have been for her, trying to care for her family and give them what she knew they would need to prepare them for a successful life. It was an isolated, lonely ranch. There was a one room school at Carp about five miles down the wash. There was no church in less than a full day’s journey with the team and wagon so our church was in our home.
The Union Pacific Railroad ran up and down the valley to the west of our home. It was always a source of enjoyment for us children to watch the long trains go by pulled by steam engines that puffed black smoke and steam into the air. A hand-dug well provided water for the house and livestock. The water was drawn from the well with a bucket, rope and pulley. The drinking water had to be hauled from Carp and carried to the house. We depended upon horses and a wagon to provide trans¬portation for the family. Horse-drawn impliments were used to develop the farm and father kept a good horse to ride the range. Sometimes he would be gone for several days at a time to care for the cattle and would take a bedroll and provisions to eat until he returned. He always took his dog to help with the cattle and for company, but the dog also proved helpful as he slept on the ground at night. He told how on one occasion his dog had killed a rattlesnake near where he was sleeping.
Our fun and excitment included times when our family would get in the wagon and go some where. It was fun to go into the hills and hunt flowers and bottlestoppers, collect pretty rocks, have a picnic, slide down the hills, etc, but we were all happy for the day when we loaded the wagon to return to Bunkerville. As we crossed Tule Valley where our cattle were ranging, mother became quite sick. Father led us in prayer and gave mother a blessing and we were able to continue our journey to Bunkerville. I was told that mother’s sickness was due to her pregnacy prior to Kent’s birth. It was not long after we arrived in Bunkerville •that my brother Kent was born.
It was about two years later that we gathered the cattle, sold the ranch and the cattle and then Bunkerville, Nevada became our permanent home. Father purchased grandfather Wittwer’s farm which consisted of 54 acres, about 30 of which was being cultivated. The remaining acreage was pasture, sand dunes and brush which was later developed for farming. Father and Mother owned the original Bunker family home. My first recollection of this house was that it was of adobe construction. It had a good sized living room, dining room, kitchen and a small room we used to take a bath. It had a fruit and storage cellar under the living room. Those were times of humble beginnings and our family grew faster than we wore able to build on to the house, so Merrill and I were given a tent-top cabin in the back yard for our room. We thought it was great but a little cold in the winter. Those were the days of outside privys, scrubbing the laundry on a washboard and boiling the clothes in tubs heated over an open fire, ironing the clothes with cast flat irons heated on the top of a coal and wood stove, carrying water from a cistern for domestic purposes, getting light from a kerosene and later a gas lamp. There was always wood to be hauled, cut and carried to the wood box. Our farm was diversified and an effort was made to produce what we needed to eat. There were endless chores with cows to milk and the milk to be separated. We would sell the cream and feed the skim milk to the calves and pigs. We had 4 or 5 horses and 250 laying hens to care for after I started with chicken projects in school. Prior to that time it was just enough laying hens to supply family eggs and meat. If we had extra eggs, we would take them to the store to purchase groceries. Our main crops were alfalfa hay and wheat. I remember going with father to the flour mill which was run by a waterwheel, to grind some of our wheat for flour. We would cut, rake, and haul our hay with horse-drawn equipment. I can remember how glad I was when father thought I was strong enough to help pitch the hay¬cocks on the wagon with a fork. It was like a graduation from driving the teams and tromping the hay. The grain was harvested with a binder and shocked in the field to dry and then stacked for threshing.
Irrigation water was diverted from the river with brush and rock dams, that would have to be rebuilt after each little flood in the river. It was a constant battle to keep the water in the ditch so there would be water for the farms and gardens. The ditches had to be cleaned at least once per year and more often with flooding. This was done with teams and dump scrapers and with shovels. Our farm ditches were all dirt and needed to be cleaned with shovels at least twice per year. Father was an expert with a shovel and when he cleaned it, it was smooth and free from weeds and grass. I write of these conditions sot that Father and Mother’s posterity will know of the circumstances of their lives during a greater part of the time that they were raising their family. They both worked very hard to provide for their family.
Improvements and changes finally came. What a wonderful day it was when the domestic water supply was provided with mountain water in each of the homes and electric power brought in from Boulder Dam. After electric power came in 1937, a number of electric appliances were purchased. But mother had very little opportunity to enjoy any of these conveniences. It was during the early 1930′s that our home was remodeled. I remember the project of making adobes which were used to add two bedrooms and nice clothes closets. Bathroom fixtures were installed to give us an indoor toilet and bath tub. It was great to have more than a number 2 wash tub to bathe in. The old part of the house was also improved with stucco on the outside and the addition of porches. A now roof was put on the house and the inside was replastered. Our home was lovely and we all really enjoyed the added space and convenience, but most of all it was a time of great rejoicing for mother end father. It had been a project of family involvement in helping the carpenters, the adobe layers, the plasters and all, and it gave us a real sense of pride in the accomplishment.
Father faced a very difficult situation with our neighbor Roy Waite, after we came to Bunkerville from the ranch on the Meadow Valley Wash. He was very fond of his dog that he had used so much with his cattle and ranch activities. One day when they fed the dog, our neighbor’s young child was at our house and taking the food out of the dog’s dish. The dog nipped the child slightly and he went running home crying. It was soon after this that our neighbor killed father’s dog. Father greatly resented this action and it was the source of very strong feelings between them, but mother was a peace maker. She urged father to forget the incident and to make peace. She said the dog, as much as we think of him, is not worth harboring feelings.
This was mother’s nature. She couldn’t bear contention in our hone or with friends and neighbors. We could tell when father was angry or upset about something, but mother had the formula to sooth his wounds. Her affect was the same on her children. We were all inclined to take our problems to her, but we knew that mother and father were together on decisions which were made.
I learned some valuable lessons which came from little experiences with each of my parents. I will only mention a few of them which had a very strong impact on my behavior. In our back yard was an ivy vine and in company with some of the boys in the neighborhood, I had learned that you could puff smoke through the stem of the ivy when it was dry. When I was about seven or eight, mother caught me trying to smoke. I admitted that I was playing smoke and in her very nice way we sat down together and she left me with a feeling that this was a very evil pract¬ice and would lead to many difficulties. Her lesson about smoking was so thorough that I never desired to be found smoking again.
Mother helped each of us children with church talks, school assignments and any of our lessons. I remember her sitting with me on many occasions to do my school lessons and prepare talks for church. These were great learning experiences. She was continually trying to help me gain self-confidence because I am sure I tended to rely too much upon • her. I thought I would surprise her one time and prepare a talk without her knowledge. Well, that did it. She made me feel so good about what I had done that I began to take pride in doing more things on my own initiative. I will never forget the lesson she taught me about swearing. We had a place to play basketball in our yard and some of the boys had come over to play. During the game a word slipped out of my mouth which caused mother to call me to her side to discuss the matter. She told me if I didn’t stop using that word, I would have to quit playing. . It did come out again and I had to sit by her on the porch and watch the boys play. It was hard to take, but it gave me the lesson I needed to help me guard my tongue.
Mother wanted me to learn a lesson about volunteering to do nice things. Her teaching moment came one night when father was very tired but had to care for the water in the very early hours of the morning (about 2 am). She suggested that I ask father if I could do it. It was a dark and lonely job and I didn’t want to do it, but I did and I’ll always remember how good father and mother made me feel for relieving him of this work. They seemed to know when and how to test our courage and ability and give the growing experience we needed.
Father was a great believer in work. He seemed to know that we would learn best by experience. There were very few jobs on the farm that each of his sons did not have an op¬portunity to do just as early as we were able to do it. If it was not done right, he would take the time to show us how he wanted it and we could do it over again. He was great in teaching responsibility. He always made me feel that I could do a man’s job. He didn’t mind telling me when I started to run the dump rake that I could do it as good or better than he. Well, that helped my ego.
He saw me get chased Home often by boys my age and one day when he saw these boys ganging up on me, he called them over and had each one fight with me separately. He wanted me to know that I could stand up for my rights and that I didn’t need to run home crying. I believe that it taught both the boys and me a lesson.
I remember the time when father sent Merrill and I home for lunch and we were supposed to bring father’s lunch back because he didn’t want to leave his work. Merrill and I took plenty of time and did much playing along the way so it was quite late before we got back. Father was angry and sent us back home. He said if all we wanted to do was play and if we had no thought of him, then we could go home and play, and he would learn to get along without us. That really sobered us and we pleaded with him to let us stay but we had to go home. We didn’t feel to good when we got home and mother let us know she was disappointed in us too.
This was the nature of their teaching and raising a family. Father was not one to be seen in the public eye. He didn’t want jobs in the church which would require him to preside, conduct or teach. He was very effective in a supportive role. When it came to making donations in money or labor he would be the first to offer and was very generous. His push and financial support was largely responsible for building the first church chapel in Bunkerville.
Prior to that time church had been held in the school buildings. He did much to take care of the welfare farm and worked hard to instigate activity in Temple work. He served as the watermaster for the irrigation company and would ride the ditch to flush the sandgates, regulate the water and maintain a good water supply for the town. Mother on the other hand was always teaching or leading in one of the auxiliaries of the church. It was my good fortune to have mother as a primary teacher and I remember her conducting the meetings.
My first experience in administering to the sick was with father at Ed Knight’s home. I was not familiar with the prayers but I was schooled in it going and coming. There was also the occasion when mother passed out and father called and asked me to anoint her with oil and father sealed the anointing. Mother was able to get up from the kitchen floor and walk to her bed. Father always seemed to have great faith and trust in the power of the Lord.
My opportunities to be with my mother and father after I started college was only on those brief occasions when I was home for Christmas and for a week or two in the summer except that wonderful time when they came to Reno for my graduation from college. Their coming made it a big occasion for me. We then traveled together to visit our relatives in Auborn, California, Visiting relatives was always a great source of joy and comfort to them. It was not uncommon for Mothers brothers and sisters or fathers brothers and sisters and their families to gather at our home expecially on Sunday afternoons and evenings or we would go to one of their homes. Their ability to visit and enjoy their families made for very close relationships among cousins and uncle and aunts. Father had a unique ability to strike up a conversation even with strangers and in a short time become acquainted with them. After mother passed away, Father would visit his children for a week or two at a time. If we wanted him to stay longer we would have to have a good job for him to do. He was a big help to me while we were in Caliente. We took on a job of building a basement under the house and I had a fence to build around a 5 acre field that I was using. These projects kept father busy for quite a while. Our children always enjoyed having father come. He always tried to remember their birthdays with some money or something special.
It was not long after mother passed away that he sold the farm to Merrill and spent more time working in the temple. His was a lonely life for the 22 years that he lived as a widower, but he did a wonderful job of what he didn’t think he could do. He raised those two young sons without the help of his companion at his side and always had the interest of all his children at heart. He just couldn’t stop farming so he helped Merrill on the farm and then bought some pasture land along the river and tried to develop it, Violet and our children never had the opportunity of seeing or getting to know Mother, and Brent does not remember Father but I want them to know that I am duly proud to be their son. They left me a great heritage for which I shall be eternally grateful. I have always desired to enjoy the success in rearing my children that they did. One of father’s greatest moments was the day that all of his children were with him in the temple. Mother, I am sure, was there in spirit,
It is my prayer that we shall always honor their names and by ready to take our proper place with them in the eternal world.
Source:Brent Bunker